How Much to Spend on a Baby Shower Gift, by Relationship

Most people spend about $50 on a baby shower gift. In Ally's 2023 survey of 1,000 people, $50 was the median, and $75 was the level for those who wanted to give more than most. By relationship, that means about $30 for an acquaintance, $50 for a close friend and $100 for a family member.

Those figures are a guide, not a rule. Below is how to adjust for your budget, how pooling works, and what to pick at each price.

Baby shower gift amounts by relationship

The first three rows are medians from Ally's survey, rounded up to the nearest $5 by Ally. The other rows are our own suggestions, based on those numbers.

Ally doesn't give a sample size for each relationship, so treat these as rough. A survey of 1,000 people also cannot tell you what is normal in your family or your city.

Four things that should change your number

Start from the table, then adjust.

Your budget comes first. No one should spend more than they can afford on a shower gift, and thoughtful parents would not want you to. If money is tight, go lower without guilt.

How much the event cost you. If you are traveling to the shower, it is fine to spend less on the gift. Your being there is a real part of what you are giving.

Whether this is a group of events. If you already gave at a wedding, or you are also giving a gift after the birth, you can split your budget.

Which baby this is. A sprinkle is usually smaller. Second-time parents often want useful things, not more gear, so a small, useful gift is a good fit. See second baby registry ideas.

What each budget buys

No brand needed. These are rough groupings by type of gift, not price quotes. Prices vary a lot by store, so check the registry first.

Safety first if you shop off-list. Some common gifts are unsafe. The AAP warns against bedding gift sets, crib bumpers, sleep positioners, weighted sleep products and sitting walkers, among other things. Soft toys and loose blankets make lovely gifts for later, but they do not belong in a sleep space. Avoid buying a used car seat as a gift, because the AAP says not to use one unless you know its history.

Should you stick to the registry?

Yes, in most cases. In experiments reported by Stanford, recipients appreciated gifts they had asked for more than unrequested ones, and saw them as more thoughtful. Givers tended to get this wrong, expecting a surprise to go over better. The study group was not new parents, but the lesson applies: a $25 item from the list usually beats a $60 surprise.

The exception is a personal touch. You could add a small extra to a registry gift, such as a favorite childhood book with a note inside.

The baby registry checklist shows what most parents need, if they do not have a registry and you are trying to work it out. Our baby registry essentials guide explains why each item matters.

How to pool a group gift

Pooling is the best way to get the parents something they need. Five people at $30 each can buy one $150 item, where five separate $30 gifts might be five sets of bibs.

Here is how to do it without any awkwardness.

1. One person organizes. Pick someone who is happy to chase people up.
2. Pick the gift first. Check the registry for something large and unclaimed. Tell the parents or the host, so nobody else buys it.
3. Set a suggested amount, not a required one. Dividing the price by the people who said yes gives you a fair figure.
4. Offer an easy way out. People have different budgets, and it should be fine to give less or not at all.
5. Collect through one method, then buy before the shower.
6. Sign one card, and list everyone's name.

Sample message to a group

Hi all! I'm organizing a group gift for [Name]'s shower. We're looking at [item] from the registry, at [price]. If 6 of us go in, it's about [amount] each, but please give whatever feels right, or skip this one if it's not a good time. Let me know by [date], and I'll send the details. Thanks!

Worked example for an office

Say 10 coworkers want to get something, at $15 each. That makes $150. The options are:

• A car seat or stroller contribution
• A high chair
• A chunk of a diaper fund, which at about $100 a month per child, according to the Urban Institute, would cover about six weeks of diapers

For an office, the fund is often the easiest option, since nothing has to be carried in. Whatever you choose, keep contributions optional and private. Nobody should feel watched.

Giving cash or a fund contribution

Cash is fine, and for many parents it is the most useful gift. In the same Stanford research, recipients valued money more than any item they had initially requested, though givers assumed it would be the least favored.

If the parents have a diaper fund or a cash registry, use it. Our guide to how many diapers a baby needs shows what your money buys. A $50 gift at about $100 a month covers roughly two weeks of diapers, which is a lovely thing to write in a card.

If the registry is on RegistryBee, you choose a gift from their list and your money goes to the parents rather than an item shipping to their door. They decide when and where to buy it. You pay a card processing fee of 2.9% + 30 cents per transaction, and no sales tax is charged because nothing ships. That comes to about $1.80 on a $50 gift, and it is shown at checkout. If you are pooling, one larger payment costs a little less than several small ones, because the 30 cents applies to each transaction.

If you are giving a check or cash at the shower, put it in a card, and write your name clearly so the parents know who to thank.

If you cannot go to the shower

It is thoughtful to send something, but it is not required. A smaller gift, sent from the registry, is plenty. A card on its own is fine if you are close to the family or you plan to give something later.

If you cannot afford much

Give what you can. Here are a few ways to be generous without spending much:

• Offer to bring a meal after the birth, and do it
• Offer to babysit an older child or walk the dog
• Make something by hand, such as a card or a meal for the freezer
• Join a group gift at a smaller amount
• Give a single useful thing, such as a pack of diapers, with a warm note

A dinner in week two can mean more than a bigger gift. The note and the help count for a lot.

The short answer

If you need one number, spend $50 for a close friend and $30 for anyone you know less well, unless your budget says otherwise. Check the registry, buy from it, and write something kind in the card.