How Much to Spend on a Bridal Shower Gift, by Relationship and Compared With the Wedding Gift

Most guests spend $25 to $75 on a bridal shower gift, and $50 to $100 for a close friend or relative. If you are also buying a wedding gift, set one combined budget and put about 40% toward the shower gift and 60% toward the wedding gift.

No authority sets a required amount. Emily Post's view on wedding gifts is that there is no rule, and it is entirely up to you. So the ranges below are a guide for people who want a number, not a test. Use the wedding gift calculator to work out your overall gift budget, then come back here to split it.

What the published guidance says

Here is everything we found, side by side.

The overlap is about $50 to $75, so that is the range to use if you want one answer.

How much to spend, by relationship

These bands are our suggestions, built from the published ranges above. They assume you are also attending the wedding.

A shower gift does not need to scale with your income, the location or how fancy the event is. Your own budget is the only limit that counts, and the bride is not auditing the receipt.

How it relates to the wedding gift

Think of the shower gift as a share of a total, not as an extra.

Etiquette expert Cheryl Seidel suggests one combined budget, with about 40% going to the shower and 60% to the wedding. Zola says the two gifts do not have to be of equal value, and that you can spend less at the shower.

For context, Zola's 2026 First Look Report puts the average wedding gift at $130, and says most guests spend $100 to $150.

Worked examples

Say you would normally give a friend $130 for a wedding. Under the 40/60 approach, you could spend about $50 on the shower and $80 on the wedding, for $130 in all. Or you could give the full $130 at the wedding and add a $50 shower gift on top. Both are fine. Decide from your own budget.

The Knot uses a similar idea it calls the 20-20-60 rule: 60% of your total gift budget goes to the wedding, and the other 40% is split between pre-wedding events such as the shower and engagement party. If you are only invited to the shower and wedding, it suggests a 30/70 split.

Seidel's guideline is aimed at guests who can't manage both gifts at full price. If you can comfortably afford more, no rule says you have to divide anything.

If you are in the wedding party

Being a bridesmaid already costs money, and that counts. Emily Post's traditional list has attendants paying for attire, transportation, and optionally hosting a shower or party. The same list says a gift to the couple can be skipped if being in the wedding is the gift.

Three things can lower your cost without being rude.

• Pool your money. A group gift from the bridal party is normal. Six people giving $30 each can buy a $180 registry item that nobody could have bought alone.
• Count what you put into hosting. If you are paying for the shower, a small personal gift is enough.
• Go to one, gift once. Emily Post says that if you are invited to several showers, you only need to bring a gift to the first one. For later showers, a small item such as flowers or chocolates is plenty.

If you are on a tight budget

You can do this for less than you think, and nobody at the shower will be judging you. Try one of these.

• Pick from the bottom of the registry. Most registries include small items for this reason. Emily Post notes that a separate shower registry with lower-priced items can be a good idea.
• Join a group gift. $20 toward something the couple really wants is better than $20 on something they do not.
• Give something handmade or useful. A recipe card set with family favorites, or a framed photo, costs little and can mean more than something from the store.
• Combine the two gifts. Give a small shower gift, plus a card at the wedding. Or give a heartfelt note and a modest gift at the shower, and then your main gift at the wedding.

Emily Post is clear that a registry is a convenience, not a mandate, and that the idea that you must match the cost of your plate is a myth. A gift you can afford is the right gift.

Special cases

You can't attend the shower. A gift is still a kind thing to do if you are close to the bride. Send something from the registry to her home, or give it to the host ahead of time. For a coworker or acquaintance, a card is enough.

You are invited to the shower but not the wedding. This happens at office showers. Bring a small gift in the $25 to $50 range. You do not owe a wedding gift as well.

You are invited to several showers. Bring your main gift to the first, and something small to the others, as above.

The theme is a recipe or lingerie shower. Follow the theme. The same budget applies, and a gift that fits the theme will land better than a pricier one that does not.

It is a couple's shower. Treat it the same as any other shower. One gift from you, or one from you and your partner.

Should you give money?

Yes, if it suits the couple. Many have lived together for years and do not need another mixing bowl. A shower gift of cash, a gift card or a contribution to their honeymoon is fine, as long as the couple has shown they would like it.

If they have a cash registry, you can give through that. On a RegistryBee registry, you buy a gift from their list and the money goes to the couple, with nothing shipped. Guests pay 2.9% plus 30 cents per transaction, so a $60 gift has a $2.04 fee. The couple decides when and where to get the item.

Put a printed card in your bag so the bride has something to open, especially if the shower has a gift-opening moment. If you are the couple and want to word that request politely, the cash gift wording generator can help.

Before you wrap it

Include a card with your full name, so the bride can write her thank you note without detective work. Keep the receipt or a gift receipt with the gift. And if you are the bride reading this after the shower, our thank you card wording guide has examples for each kind of gift you may have just received.